I did nothing today but skip class, lay in bed, and watch Night of the Living Dead. I have this grand plan to start eating healthier, exercising, and actually getting my schoolwork done on time. We'll see how that goes.
The Lucies were last night which were aaamazing to say the least. Brilliant work. Obviously. They are awarding some of the best photographers in the world. Even the awards show downplayed the fashion photography, which I thought was quite funny. I especially loved Sara Terry's project "The Aftermath," that documents warzones after they have been destroyed by war, left abandoned and swept under the rug when we get too depressed to remember them anymore.
http://www.theaftermathproject.org/history.htm
Despite being emotional chaotic over the past few weeks, I am finally finding some stability. Thanks birth control pill... Shouldn't I be used to these hormones by now...a year later? I wish I stopped taking it out on Pat. I honestly don't mean to. After the fact, I always feel so ridiculous but I can never help it at the time.
The problem is always the same in different forms. I get into these moods where I despise the distance and resent one of us having to leave the other one in a few days. Pat reacts to cheer me up and I receive it as he isn't taking it seriously and I feel belittled and silly, wanting him to be that emotionally pulled that we just lie there together. What the fuck is wrong with me? That's how I always feel. On the bright side, I really feel that every time we talk this over, it makes a little more sense. We get each other a little more? We take into account that we handling our missing of each other differently?
Pat's really good though. He's going to the first World Series game tomorrow! So awesome! I wish airplane tickets were cheaper and that I wasn't so fucking broke so I could go with him. That would be incredible.
My internship with the Green Dot Awards has turned out to be pretty badass. I really like being part of the gallery world - and have developed more respect for photography when to be honest, I used to look down on it. I always thought studio art took a lot more. Maybe partially it does, but photography captures the world how it is - of course you can't avoid the inherent perspective of the photographer, but regardless of Photoshop (not totally feeling it...), these images actually happened. I kind of want to get a camera and mess around with it. Maybe for Christmas or something? Who knows. That is all for now.
Cheers.
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